Summer has come to the city and that means a couple of things for us urbanites: Humidity, air conditioning, flip flops, roof top BBQs, exposed clevage, Mr. Softee, the Hamptons, Fire Island (for others) and of course New York Urban Professionals Summer League. This season the team formerly known as NO BASKETBALL FOR OLD MEN, decided to shake things up. We got a new name, SOFA KING AWESOME, new colors, Bio-Hazard/Maximum Security Penitentiary Orange, and a new attitude, we win or we’ll F-you up.The first of an 8-game season began last night and Sofa King Awesome came out ready to take control of their destiny (which is to just reach the playoffs) by winning game one in our usual style, our forté, Overtime!
The game started off at a good pace, we were working the ball around, getting good looks, hitting our short range jumpers, but the Robots kept it close. Back and forth the score went, until Divino The Highlight Paran caught fire. Divino had some sweet drives which got him to the foul line, and he did not disappoint. Other contributions came from a big three pointer by Eddie El Diablo Larios, Josh Funny-Man Homer hitting his patent hanging floater, and some inside put backs by Don The Human Tree Janocha. By half time we were up by 6.
The second half didn’t start so well for us as a series of continuously bad turnovers let them back in the game. Again we traded buckets with just a one point difference. We took a slight lead thanks to a three pointer by Ray “I Always Call Glass” Ko and some nice action in the paint by our prodigal son, our long lost giant, Robert Zee German Loef and also some sweet inside passing by Russ The Boss Ringelstein. But like most teams in our league, each team has one stellar athlete and theirs was hitting three pointers from way beyond the arc. He kept them in the game, and he is the sole reason we went into overtime. The Score was now tied. 46 – 46.
Overtime (only 3 minutes long) began with their annoying Kobe-esque player hitting another long range 3 point jumper. He would have a hard time getting the ball back in his hands again, as Ray and I began to swarm him to shut him down. As time wound down, I was fortunate enough to get the ball behind the three point line to hit a three pointer to tie it (redemption from my 3 point airball earlier). Then our defense really stepped up, they forced a shot, and Russ ended up with the rebound, then it was a tick tack toe passing thing of beauty: Russ outleted it to me, I sent it ahead to Divino streaking on the right, Divino alley ooped it to Robert who was streaking on the left and he grabbed the ball out of the air and gently put her home. 4 passes. One great shot. We made it look easy. They had one last chance to score, but because of great defense all around, they didn’t get one, and in the end, to stop the clock, they fouled Mr. Consistent, Divino, who sank both his free throws, giving us a four point lead and crushing their hopes of winning. Arigato Mr. Roboto!
AND what’s with this gym and Asian teams? The only other time we played at this gym we faced the stir fry cooks from Benihannas, the Super Soul Sonics. Last night we faced Rockem Sockem Robots, extras from the hit Japanese tv show Super Senti:
Good Guys 50, Bad guys 46.
GAME HIGHLIGHTS:
- - Divino Divino Divino with monster drives, a concussion from driving to the hole and getting mauled, and yet still putting away free throws.
- - Max’s green shorts, making him look like a giant carrot.
- - Russ, yes Russ Ringelstein, almost getting ejected from the game for questioning the ref! Glad you didn’t take a charge in this game buddy. Also we just found out, the male ref is Russ’s kids coach at Basketball camp.
- - And of course the game winning alley oop from Divino to Robert. Pure Gold boys!
This is the first time we started a season with a win. We are already off to a better start than any season. Lets keep shooting and telling ourselves and our opponents, that we will massacre you. We will reign down a fiery hell on you. Im talking scorched earth motha fu…well you get the point. This team had one great player and a few good players. We have many great players, and if we keep up our play, and avoid hurting ourselves with turnovers, we will reach the playoffs or at least have a winning record! 5-3! 5-3! 5-3!
- SOY CAPITAN
