After two demoralizing losses in a row, Sofa King Awesome, was hungry for a win. Unfortunately for us we were missing 3 important players. “Mad” Max Linsky who was off in Los Angeles auditioning for a reality show called “Jew Better Recognize,” an Jewish Dating Reality show for those looking for their Kosher significant other, Don “All Business” Janocha who is in SF searching for the perfect business tie, and “Everybody Loves” Ray, who boringly just lives in Jersey and can’t make the early games. With a skeleton crew of 7 players, we marched into O’Shea Junior High School with chutzpah. Determined to salvage an even record because let’s face it, at this point, we know we aren’t making the playoffs, but we had our pride to think about!
With the tip of the ball, the game began, and Sofa King Awesome took the lead. That lead grew into a giant shadow that loomed over our opponents. But who or what was casting that shadow? A bird, a plane, no, it was Ted "WHITE CHOCOLATE" Smith! Who leaps sheets of paper in a single bound, who gets so sweaty no defender can hold on to him, and whose running floater could not be stopped. Ted, the prodigal son, who has been missing the entire season, returned last night with super human strength and a friendly rim.
Riding Ted’s Big Red S, a rejuvenated Sofa King Awesome, also had a great all around game. Great passing lead to a lot of scoring opportunities, and lots of defensive pressure created turnovers and fast breaks. There was also great moving without the ball, which opened up lanes and free’d people up for easy buckets.
There are so many highlights, and so little space, but here are a few of the most memorable:
- Ted “Super White Chocolate” Smith breaking the opposition’s back with his super human floater.
- Divino “Highlight” Paran with a THUNDER CLAP, globe trotter-esque fakes, and a seemingly impossible up-and-under lay-up…with his eyes closed.
- Josh “Freezes Time with His Mind” Homer driving the lane, hanging in the air….hanging there a little more…..still hanging…, and then fishing with his patent lay up. Also Josh applied the no breathing room defense on their best player to shut down their only point scorer.
- Eddie “Are you a model?” Larios picking pockets, around the back passes, hitting threes, taking photos, and handing out his card to pretty ladies for modeling auditions after the game .
- Rob “It Aint Over till it’s Over” Loef with big rebounds, a HUGE defensive block, and a strong bucket at the end of the game as time worn down and no one was really going to guard him, but Robbed split 5 guys for a really nice layup Rob, and even thought the refs called off the shot, we still count it buddy.
- Russ “Taking it Outside” Ringelstein running the floor and nailing some outside shots in addition to his usual great inside game which also consists of trying to figure out the refs logic when it comes to fouls.
- Adrien “Icey Hot” Bellezza pulling a muscle on an inbound pass, and stinking like Ben Gay the rest of the game, but my passing seemed to improve.
Final Score, good guys: 55; bad guys: 34
Great game boys, even if the other team sucked!
The Final game of the season is next Wed 8/19. 7pm. @ Central Park East, 106th and Madison. Enter on 106th Street.
We are fighting for our 3rd straight .500 season, so it will be a fight to the death. End of Season drinks to follow. Bring your friends, family, loved ones, for a good laugh.
SOY CAPITÁN
