...TO CRUSH LOCAL MEN'S BASKETBALL LEAGUE TEAM.
They weren’t exactly the dynamic duo from the Chicago Bulls Dynasty, but the two ringers that were trying to salvage a winning season for a group of no talent white boys, were definitely better than all of us put together. It was really 5 against 2 on the court, and the odds were still stacked in their favor. These two brothas from other mothas, were jumping from the free throw line, soaring over our players, and making it look 1950s basketball being introduced to Dr.J and the slamdunk. The only reason these guys didn’t dunk on us was probably to make it SEEM like a fair game.
The game, surprisingly, started off fairly even. We even had the lead thanks to some stellar down low moves by “The Don” Janocha in the early get go. Under the splendor of Robert Simon High School with one hoop missing a net and other rim which was crooked, it seemed we were poised for a good game, and then the Bullets feeling a sense of lose possibly looming, brought in the ringers, and we all watched helplessly as we watched their pearly white high tops float by our heads (for me, over my head) and then the game was the fast track to a lopsided loss. At halftime, down by 15, we only had one plan. Stop those two ringers. And with inspiration and anger in his eyes, Josh “Funny Man” Homer stopped making jokes and said “their going to bring in Ringers, then drive your knees into their thighs!” The second half is a dismal memory of fouls and futile efforts of stopping the ringers mixed in with few and far between highlights.
Highlights:
- Don “All Abbbooooard” Janocha having a great offensive first half providing posting, rebounding, put-backs, and free throws.
- Josh “I don’t Mean to Ghetto, but I hate MO FO Ringers” Homer providing a half time speech like he were that dude from the Underarmour commercials, and telling us to take out those (ear muffs kids) motha focka’s knees.
- Max “the Slacks” Linsky driving and driving and driving, creating openings and making some great feeds.
- Divino “Tap Tap Taparoo” Paran with a big lay-up followed by the patent Hulk Hogan flex pose.
Good Guys: 28; Bad Guys: 65
Let’s not let this lose phase us. With 3 games left we still can come out of this with a winning season and possibly playoffs. Those guys definitely did not belong in our league which turned the game into one that was not competitive or fun for anyone, except for the winning team, but we know they don’t sleep well at night after an empty victory like that! It’s like being on a championship team and winning the big game, but you’re the guy that rode the bench the entire game. That’s what the Bullets are, at least we aren’t cheaters! And our victories are never tainted. Word to your motha.
Next game is Thursday, 6:30 PM at O’Shea J.H.S. (OJH) 77th Street between Columbus & Amsterdam Ave. Gym is on 2nd Floor. Do not arrive before 6:15pm.
Keep Shooting
Soy Capitán!
